Break up in love is a wake up in life | @Chetanbro Quotes :- 39

BREAK UP IN LOVE IS A WAKE UP IN LIFE. 

By :- @i_amChetanpaswan

Hii, 

A warm welcome to all of you in this super fresh blog. NAMASTE sit tightly for few minutes and learn something new stuff which will help you to grow yourself as a individual. 

Today Quotes is, 

" BREAK UP IN LOVE IS A WAKE UP IN LIFE." 

Today, I am going to share a story, which must inspire you.

At first it can seem like the end of the world, but splitting from a partner can mean a whole new beginning. Three women tell Ruth Tierney how finding themselves single again spurred them on to pursue their dreams

The trauma of a break-up was the shake-up that Claire Garber, 35, from London, needed to pursue her goals, from becoming a snowboarding instructor to writing a novel

'I couldn't pin my hopes on a man'

I met my ex Julien while I was on a snowboarding holiday in the French Alps – where he lived – and moved in with him after six months. He was the man I thought I’d have children with, so when our three-year relationship fell apart, I fell to pieces. I turned up on my dad’s doorstep  back in England jobless, homeless and loveless, and spent the next six months moping around in tracksuit bottoms and Julien’s old T-shirt.

I had just turned 30, so it all felt terribly poignant. What if I became that girl who, for no particular reason, doesn’t get the guy, doesn’t have children, doesn’t get her happy ever after? After talking to friends and relatives, I realised that I had to find my own fulfilment in life, that I couldn’t pin my hopes on a man.

'I began making a list of all the dreams I'd put on hold'

I began making a list of all the dreams I’d put on hold when I met Julien, mainly through the laziness of being in a couple. After finding a new estate agency job I began working down the list, top of which was training as a snowboarding instructor. I’d always thought of it as Julien’s thing, but after we split, I realised I missed the mountains almost as much as him.

I saved up for a year to afford a three-week trip to British Columbia in Canada, so I could train and do the exams. It was an intense course, but whizzing down the slopes amid such beautiful scenery was incredibly freeing. I felt really proud of myself for passing.

Next up was writing a novel, something I’d wanted to do for years but hadn’t found the motivation for when spending all my time with Julien. My break-up gave me the idea for a story about getting back the things you lost when you fell in love. For the next three years, I wrote every evening, weekend and lunchtime. I sent my book to an agent, who sent it to publishers, and then one day in 2011 I got the call I’d been waiting for.

One of my most exciting moments was holding the first, still-warm copy of Love is a Thief at the printers. I’d never have written it if I had still been with Julien – heartbreak gave me the idea and the necessary kick up the backside. I’ve had so many readers get in touch to say that they gave up university places, social lives and round-the-world trips for the sake of their relationships.

BREAK-UP IN BRIEF

What’s been your biggest life lesson? Long-term, sustainable happiness arrives when you start doing the things that give you joy in the absence of someone else.

THEN You complete me.

NOW I complete me.

My ambitions were pretty much fulfilled right there, but I had more to tick off my list. With the help of French radio and films, I learned the language and am now almost fluent. I’d never needed to with Julien because he had always acted as my translator.

I also learned to ski – again, something I’d thought of as his territory rather than mine. I missed France, so decided to take lessons in the French Alps. I was really nervous about bumping into Julien, but I missed the beautiful snow and mountains and longed to go back there. Julien was one of the first people I came across, but when we said hello, I realised that I was over him at last.

When I got the advance for my second novel I decided to leave my job, rent an apartment in the French Alps and write the book there. Being single forces you to go out and make friends and, this time round, I have a strong circle of English pals who are also working in France. I say yes to every invitation. I’m about to take my ski-instructor exam, and plan to teach next year as well as writing.

Divorce has given Liz Copeland, 56, a business coach from Kenley, Surrey, the freedom to travel and get a dog'Imperfection is allowed, you just need a plan B'

Discovering that my husband of 23 years was having an affair was devastating. I became suspicious when Robert went away for a weekend four years ago, telling me one story and our youngest son another. When I confronted him, he denied it, before finally admitting that he’d been seeing someone else.

'I'm living proof that losing the security of marriage actually leaves you with more choices'

I didn’t want to know the details, but I suspect, looking back at his frequent ‘work trips’, that he’d been seeing her for a year. How could someone I trusted do this to me and our three children (Lindsey, now 24, James, 23, and Andrew, 19)? It felt like the man I knew had died and been replaced by an alien with no feelings.

After the initial anger, I tried to patch things up, putting his infidelity down to a midlife crisis. But six months on, I discovered Robert was still seeing the other woman. When I reiterated that it was her or me, Robert said he couldn’t make up his mind, so I filed for divorce (a process that took three years, with the decree absolute granted in September 2012).Liz enjoys meeting other dog walkers while out with english bulldogs Teddy and Bella

I can only describe the first year without him as akin to a bereavement. I became very familiar with the BBC World Service as I sobbed myself to sleep in the early hours. His infidelity left me believing I must be an awful person, that I was unlovable. You could measure my self-esteem in nanometres. But one morning I woke up and thought, ‘I won’t always feel like this.’ That was the turning point. As a business coach, I guide people through life changes, and I realised I needed to do the same with myself.

While married, I had deferred all decision-making to my husband, so, suddenly single, I felt paralysed by the thought of making a wrong move. But, as I tell clients, imperfection is allowed, you just need a plan B. I needed a back-up plan when I took the children on holiday for our first Christmas without their dad. The hotel in New England was in the middle of nowhere – not the bustling town I’d expected. It was a B&B with nowhere nearby to eat dinner. After panicking, I hired a car and we ended up having a lovely time exploring the local area.

It was empowering to find that I could unblock a drain or deal with a car breakdown on my own. Robert had always been the one to decide where we went on holiday, usually an English country-house hotel, planned a year in advance.

Having the freedom to be spontaneous and go on the city breaks I’d always craved was wonderful. It allowed me to say to my daughter, ‘Fancy going to Amsterdam next weekend?’ I either travel with the kids or on my own, and have gone solo to New York, California, Florida and Australia. You meet interesting people, such as the insect photographer I got chatting to in a New York bookshop.

BREAK-UP IN BRIEF

What’s been your biggest life lesson? ‘I can do it’: I may have to work out how, get help from others, do it differently from my ex, but one way or another it is possible.

Describe yourself in three words

THEN Disappointed, bored, discouraged.

NOW Free, happy, creative.

I’ve started treating myself to spa trips, which in turn has made me take more care of my appearance. After a consultation with a stylist, I’ve ditched my old Angela Merkel-style trouser suits for colour-block dresses and bright prints from Jaeger. I’ve lost a stone and a half thanks to eating more healthily, too.

Robert didn’t like pets because he thought they were hard work and smelly, but I’d always longed for a dog, so one of the first things I did was visit a rescue centre. When six-year-old Teddy, an english bulldog, trotted up to me wagging his stubby tail, it was love at first sight. They’re such a comical breed and just seeing Teddy’s face in the morning can’t fail to make me smile. Dogs just want you to be happy, and Teddy is the best company because he’s so loving. In February, I got a bulldog puppy called Bella. Walking them on the local common is incredibly sociable, and I love comparing notes with other dog walkers.

I feel like a different person now, with a dynamic life and more confidence. What I’ve been through has even enabled me to expand my coaching business (thedivorcementor.com) to help women before, during and after divorce. I’m living proof that losing the security of marriage actually leaves you with more choices.

Julie Withers, 47, from Forest Row, East Sussex, has found the energy to organise festivals, film clubs and anti-fracking demonstrations since her divorceJulie helps to run a children's film club at the village hall

When I turned up alone at the anti-fracking protesters’ camp in nearby Balcombe, armed with home-made cakes and a placard, I had a moment of doubt. I wasn’t a hippie, but a microbiologist and mother of two with neat hair and respectable clothes. What was I doing mixing with a gang of activists who’d just clashed with police?

But that thought was fleeting, a remnant of the old me of eight years ago. The woman who kept a tidy house for her husband and expended all her energy on keeping him happy. Now I am a very different person who follows her heart, regardless of whether her face fits. Without a marriage to fall back on, you have to think big.

I had been with my husband John for 13 years when we got divorced in 2006. As I approached 40, I took stock of my life and realised I wasn’t happy, that this wasn’t the relationship I’d dreamt of. John was very distant, sometimes seeming angry with me just for saying hello when he got home from work.

I got the sense that he’d rather be on his own than spend time with me, so despite having a young baby, I decided to leave with our two children (Xoan, now 12, and Lyra, eight) and buy a house nearby. John wasn’t happy, but he didn’t say no or ask why.

I’d given away my power during our relationship. We were an insular family and rarely socialised, and I found home life isolating. It was physically and emotionally draining keeping the house clean and tidy for him; I’m not such a stickler myself.

It felt like the clouds had parted. I could explore my place in the community and escape from the narrow constraints of married life. I began taking the children to a wood-fired pizza oven built in the middle of a forest nearby. Families congregate there, and I met lots of other single parents. I’d previously had no time to nurture friendships, but now I have a close band of pals who love me no matter what. I’m able to be flexible with my time and I have the energy to support my friends, sharing childcare with them, for example.

BREAK-UP IN BRIEF

What’s been your biggest life lesson? That connections and friends in the community make you much stronger than relying on one person for support.

Describe yourself in three words

THEN Timid, isolated, constrained.

NOW Energised, campaigning, broad-minded.

Three years ago, a couple of mums and I launched a children’s film club, which runs on Sundays at the village hall. Last year I helped to organise a pop-up festival – 12 of us opened up our houses to share films, art, crafts and music with other villagers. It was cosy and intimate to be invited into each other’s homes, such as when ten people crammed into my lounge to watch an independent film. As part of the event, I organised a party in the village hall for 40 people, with lantern-making for the children. I also held a peace walk, laying a trail through two miles of local woodland, marked out by signs with poems and quotations.

When I heard about the neighbouring village of Balcombe being test-drilled by a fracking company, I immediately poured myself into campaigning against it. You hear so much about chemicals and gases escaping during the fracking process, not to mention earthquakes caused by the disruption, and it seems an unknown and dangerous process. 

Hope you enjoyed the article. Now you know. 

Thank you for reading this article. Have a great day. ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ 

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@Chetanbro 

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